Friday, June 29, 2012

hi july. so happy i could cry. thanks july.

I've been saying it for months. JUNE was the month that was going to be the end all be all of my sanity. but HELLO July. Seeing you notifies me that I did, indeed, survive July! (Well almost, 1 day left of june, but who counts Saturday). Over the past month my schedule with school and work and everything else has been hectic to say the least.  Lets see if this how this is even possible.

12 8 hour shifts at Primary Childrens    = 96 hours
4 12 hour shift at Riverton (graveyard) = 48 hours
2 12 hour shifts at Midtown Manor (crazy psych unit, also graveyards)  = 24 hours
3 12 hour shifts at the U for OB/Maternity Rotations = 36 hours
5 6 hour shifts at a psych preschool in Kearns = 30 hours
1 12 hour Psych rotation at Salt Lake Regional = 12 hours
1 12 hour Peds rotation in Bountiful = 12 hours
8 4 hour sessions for class (8 hours a week) = 32 hours
4 2 hour lab sessions for OB/Peds = 8 hours
2 Midterms = countless hours studying.. and 3 hours taking the test...
Studying.... so many hours I can't even think!!
Total = 301 hours + some
Average per week = 75.25 hours.

This past week fellow nursing students and me discussed how CRAZY things have been and how completely exhausted and lethargic we are all of the time.  We came up with the conclusion that it isn't soley the amount of hours we are scheduled to do things, but more so that we have ZERO time to exercise and eat healthy.  With a week of 75 hours of on the go, there were days I would leave the house at 6am and not get back until 11pm.  On those days it was difficult to pack a lunch for 3 meals, so I would eat out 2 of the 3 meals.  Needless to say my summer body is not up to par, and now with summer half way over I'm have to make up for my poor food choices over the past 3 months.  Being semilazy when it comes to exercising I have dedicated myself to enlisting in 5k and 10k races. Knowing I have a race in 2 weeks is motivation enough to RUN the entire thing and thus means I have to train.  Props to myself for waking up this morning an extra hour early to go on a 2.5 mile run with Ellie before my 9am-11pm day! 

Every time I have gotten completely overwhelmed with the stresses of this past month Lance would keep saying, "June is almost over, you can do it!"  As corny as it sounds, his optimism in my dreadful schedule and the support he has given by helping take care of the pups to allow me to sleep has been an absolute dream.  I am so grateful to have a husband who pushes me and supports me in all my crazy endevors.  To think we have been married for 23 months! I can't wait for July to come where we will be able to celebrate our 2 year anniversary!

Obviously anyone who knows me knows I have ZERO patience and am extremely motivated when I want to be.  For heavens sakes I took a sledge hammer to my bathroom last summer and single handedly remodeled the entire thing (during my LAST finals week at BYU). During my Spr-ummer break this year I painted my house instead of taking the week to just 'relax'.  I am a busy person and have always been, but in some aspects I am grateful for the Lord's timing and His plan for all of us.  When Lance and I first started "trying" our expected delivery would have been this past spring-summer.  Now looking at what I have just endured school wise, I know it would have been impossible and emotionally exhausting to try to handle everything while having or giving birth to a newborn.  I view my inability to get pregnant over the past 2 months of doing Intraunterine Inseminations as a "blessing" for I could NOT have survived such a busy schedule if I was sick with pregnancy morning sickness and lethargic as ever.  Hopefully I won't ever have to really experience the joys associated with morning sickness, but just in case I am glad I didn't have it while watching a mommy's cha-cha as she delivered her baby! (sorry for the visual).

As for JULY?  For the first two weeks I have 18 hours a clinicals a week (a step back from 30 hours) and work.  The end of week 3 will be our anniversary which I have taken the ENTIRE weekend off for. Yes, my first Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off ALL summer. and week 4 will be Lance's Family Reunion and my finals week. I am so excited that July will be calmer than June was, but even more exciting that July means we are one month closer to August- my month of freedom.  Be expecting posts of vacations and house redecorating!!

oh yeah and HELLO! Did you know? I GRADUATE in 10 months!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Get some Rubber.. HONESTLY!

Yes. I mean exactly what YOU THINK I mean.  Some people should refrain from producing an offspring PERIOD. 
Part of my clinical rotations this semester involves me working at a "psych" preschool (yes... 2-5 year olds).  While on the playground these kids look just like any other kids.  I didn't quite grasp why exactly they were here, and what exactly was wrong with them that made them any different from other kids at other preschools... until I read there charts.
From sexual abuse of a 3 month old to physical abuse and a full body cast of a 2 year old parents locking their kids in rooms and leaving, abandoning them... why on earth and who the H*LL on earth would harm a CHILD, a freaking BABY!  I seriously cannot grasp how in the world these people were able to get pregnant, deliver a child, and then treat the child like a rat that they want to kick out of their house.  I'm not trying to get any sympathy in relation to why I can't have kids and why these other people can.  I just don't understand God's plan.  Why did he put these children in the situation to be abused and beaten and destroyed mentally, emotionally, and physically.  Some of these kids come to the preschool without any food to eat for lunch and the school has to provide nurishment for them.  Some of these kids haven't slept all night due to nightmares and heaven knows what else keeps them awake.. things I don't ever want to know of.  So they come to preschool completely exhausted and instead fall asleep there because they know they are finally safe. 
As a fellow classmate and I have discussed, working in a place like this isn't for us.  We would both get arrested for assaulting the parents who have hurt their children...

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Maybe Next Time...

that pretty much sums it up.

Monday, June 4, 2012

A Sunny Day

Since getting married and moving to Holladay, it has been difficult to keep in contact with all of my friends who live far away (Provo or Las Vegas).  I think its especially hard to keep in contact when you've entered an entirely different chapter of your life.  I found that even when I was dating it was hard to talk to my friends about their boy troubles and the entire dating scene since it was no longer applicable to me.  However, since getting married and establishing my life it's been a little bit easier to reach out and talk to those I was once inseparable with.
Since today was a "Dad's House Sunday" and I was scheduled to work a graveyard shift, driving up to Bountiful at 3pm and then to work at 6pm seemed like a lot of extra exerted energy.  Luckily my dearest friend Kylie just moved to Sugar House and decided a fun Sunday dinner at my house was just the cure. 
It was so much fun to spend a day with Ky and Blake- it felt like we were still in high school, as if nothing had changed.  We ate dinner and a monster of a desert (slut brownies) and enjoyed some "educational" television.  I wish I had pictures to document our lovely sunny Sunday at the Teenie Tiny Duplex, but memories will do ;)

---an update---
Last weekend I was having slight panic attacks because I was "scheduled" (according to Pink Pad) to ovulate over the holiday weekend. I didn't know if my doctor was going to be in town and if not I would have been outta luck, but LUCKILY the smiley face didn't come until Monday morning.  This meant Tuesday was our "golden day" to go into the doctor's office.    Round two of IUI was rather humorous.  Since the first time I was prepared at home with a specimen cup and lab bag it was easy for Lance to have a little more privacy than this last time.  (Hopefully he won't kill me for sharing).  We walked into the office and the receptionist immediately asked us for the sample. Since we didn't have it they handed Lance a lab bag and cup and said to bring it back.  Lance looked at me completely confused and said... "uhhh.... where am I supposed to go?!"  We walked out of the office and down the hall and found the men's room.  (Funniest part is its a multi stall.. not an individual..) Lance entered while I waited in a chair outside another office.  When Lance walked out of the bathroom I asked if anyone had come in while he was there and he said that a guy had walked in while he was washing his hands and Lance quickly grabbed the lab bag off the counter and hid it so the guy wouldn't think he was CRAZY. (Luckily that guy turned out to be my doctor.. so it wouldn't have been that weird).   We argued back and forth for 15 minutes about whether it was "awkward" for Lance to enter back into the office after obtaining his "sample."  The conversation ended with Lance needing to go to work and I stayed at the office for the next 40 minutes solo.  Round two went pretty much exactly the same as round one... One interesting fact, however, is today (June 3rd) while Lance was driving home from Sunday dinner at dads his dad called him wondering about how our "trying process" had been going.  We haven't talked much to our families about the intrauterine insemination or what they really entail, but Lance went on to tell him that this past Tuesday we had gone into the doctor's office. Elliott responded with saying what a coincidence it was that we went into the office on Tuesday, because on that same day he randomly thought of us and the situation we are in and had an overwhelming GOOD feeling.

Crazy huh! The same day we went in he had that impression... without even knowing what we were doing! Oh let's hope that's good luck!

Friday, June 1, 2012


One thing I believe Lance wishes I was LESS open about would be anatomy- especially reproductive anatomy.
I am not quite sure what fascinates and excites me so much about using the appropriate jargon when talking about "how to make a baby," but the thought of it just has be giddy (I know. I'm weird).
So this semester in school we are learning OB/Peds and Psych.  I had my first clinical rotation yesterday at the University of Utah on their Labor and Delivery unit.  I've spoken with a lot of my friends and fellow nurses/nursing students and many told me they thought they would LOVE labor and delivery a lot more than they actually did after seeing a live birth.  For the past year, however, I have been "set" in my mind that I want to be a Labor and Delivery nurse after I graduate.  Obviously since I had never seen a live birth until yesterday it was hard to set my future goal in concrete... until NOW!

So I arrived at the U at 5:45 am (as instructed by my teacher the nght before via text) only to find out that I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 6:45... man did I MISS that hour of sleep.
After sitting, and waiting (and wishing I'd be on l&d).. 0645 came and I finally got my assignment for the day. YAY!!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!! L&D HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!
We got our surgical scrubs for the day (I'm confused why the U has blue scrubs instead of red, or black, or white...) and next was report.  Apparently the night before they had a TON of deliveries, but at 0700 there was only 2 mommies on the board.  I jumped at the opportunity to work the twins thinking how AWESOME it would be to see twins being delivered.  I spent the next 11 hours waiting and waiting for this mommy's cervix to do work and kept hoping for her to be ripe enough to deliver.  With only 1 hour left in my shift and ZERO deliveries in the entire unit I was getting super emotional.  I did not just wait 12 hours to see a delivery and NOT see one.. Especially since this is my ONLY day on L&D. Just as I was about to get extremely upset a nurse stood up and said "well my gal wants to start pushing" I quickly said "CAN I PLEASE PLEASE COME!?"  Thank heavens this new-mom-to-be was so kind as to allow me to be there for her delivery.  I was IN the action, holding and supporting her leg as I counted and she pushed.  The pushing went on for 45 minutes before the doctors decided it would be best if they helped guide out the little one with forceps.  With a quick stick of the forceps they were ready to rock and on the next contraction bing bang boom the baby was out... it looked almost identical to this...

As soon as the baby was free Dad cut the cord and I was on the verge of crying (but stopped as to not embarrass myself).
What an addreneline rush, amazing, once in a life time experience to witness the birth of this beautiful little present from heaven.  I was just in awe at how calm and peaceful the delivery process was and how on the ball and great the team of doctors and nurses were.  Having witnessed such a miracle come to pass I KNOW I want to deliver babies!!!!