Sunday, November 23, 2014

25: the golden birthday

a few months ago Lance asked what I wanted for my 25th birthday.  Without hesitating I told him I wanted a surprise party.  I have never had one and it seemed like fun, however Lance laughed and said, "well I can't throw you one now cuz you'll already know!"  We dropped the subject at that and of course I never dreamed that he would actually follow through and throw me a surprise party, but somehow he was able to pull one over on me and surprise me (which is a VERY hard thing to do).

things this past week have sent me on an emotional roller coaster.  I worked two shifts early in the week and both shifts were easy, me sit on my bum and watch monitors for the majority, but I kept getting a persistent headache and my blood pressure was reading in the high 130's to 140's over 90's.  I told myself to just hold out until Thursday the 20th which was my routine 35.5 week appointment.  Going into that appointment part of me thought Dr. Brown would say to just take it easy or go on bedrest.  My heart and my mind were not ready nor anticipating what her instructions would be:
#1 twice a week non-stress tests (or NSTs) performed by Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM).  (these consist of an ultrasound to check fluid level surrounding the baby and 20 minutes of monitoring her heart rate and my contractions).
#2 my induction would not take place on the 15th or my 39.2 week mark, but would be moved forward two weeks to December 1st, 37.2 week.
While I've seen many women induced at 37 weeks for high blood pressure it caught me by total surprise that she would have ME induced at 37 weeks. [ The reasoning behind it is when you have elevated blood pressures you are stressing out your organs. One organ that you could be stressing is the placenta and while it would be lovely to let the baby cook for another 2 or 3 weeks, if the placenta isn't working the way it should it could do more harm than good to be pregnant past 37 weeks.  In addition we were going to run labs to make sure I do just have high blood pressure and that blood pressure isn't just a precursor to other things such as preeclampsia. ]
As soon as she told me we would be moving it forward two weeks I started to cry.  This was not happening to ME.  I am active. I am a working woman. I have so many things on my to-do list that I had planned for the next 4 weeks and now you're telling me I only have 2 weeks? Bennett. Bennett can't handle having a sister in 2 weeks! I wanted more time to spend with him before she made her debut.  The stress hit me like a freight train and while I was trying so hard to look at the situation clinically as she was I was having an emotional crisis within.  
I left the office and ventured over the MFM to schedule my NSTs then went over to the lab to have my blood drawn to test for any signs of pre-eclampsia.  Later that day I went back for that NST which came back reactive and of course my blood pressure was 140/88.

That night as I was getting ready for bed I started to get a headache.  At 10pm I took 1000mg of Tylenol and went to lay down.  Restless and tossing in bed I arose at 11pm to take a fioricet (a common headache medication we give on L&D).  By 12:50am I got out of bed again, tried to eat some left overs from dinner and took another fioricet hoping the pounding in my head would just go away.  I laid back down but at 1:50 the headache was as strong as ever.  Crying I called the on-call MD who immediately advised me that I needed to come into labor and delivery and be evaluated.  Off Lance and I went at 2:30am to IMC.  Once there they gave me 10mg of oxycodone thinking that would cure me in a jiffy.  They also ran another lab test, protein-creatinine ratio and the on-call MD was pretty sure that I was going to stay to have my blood pressure monitored or stay to be induced due to severe pre-eclampsia.  We discussed the ALPS study which is for pre-term babies to get betamethazone (a steroid to advance lung development).  Needless to say I was in utter shock at the idea of having a baby at 35.6 weeks.  The oxycodone didn't put a dent in my headache so at 6am the doctor walked back in and said she was gonna have me take benedryl and compazine and if that didn't cure my headache by 7am she was going to make me get an MRI.
Thank heavens the benedryl/compazine helped the headache and by 7:30 we were able to leave the hospital under the condition that if my headache came back at any point I would have to call my doctor and still get an MRI.
While in the hospital it made me sad to think of all the things I wanted to get done before the arrival of this little girl, but it definitely made realize what priorities were - getting her here safe - and it made it look as if my lengthy list wasn't so important anymore.

I spent the rest of my Friday resting and Saturday Lance had a fun day date planned for the two of us.  We went to Sakana and got sushi then were supposed to go get pedicures (my husband is awesome), but the rainy weather brought a group of 5 women in right before us so we instead went to Target and casually shopped.  As we were leaving I thought we were going to stop at Hobby Lobby to pick up chalk for our new chalkboard, but Lance decided home was the destination (which slightly irritated me because we had my dad babysitting and no urgent reason why we needed to return home).

I walked into our house carrying my target purchases which consisted of the postpartum necessities (haha) to a FULL house of friends and family shouting SURPRISE!   WHAT. THE. HECK.  My husband really planned a surprise party? and I really didn't find out about it before hand? I was actually SURPRISED!?! C.R.A.Z.Y.

Lance however thought I had figured it out and was just playing along with the lies all week.  He asked me after the party if I had a good time and liked it and I told him how truly special it made me feel.  How over the years I've always had such high expectations for my birthday and seem to always feel a little forgotten because everyone  is so consumed with the Thanksgiving holiday.  I brought up my 1st grade birthday party where I rented out the arcade/roller rink and invited 20 girls to only have 3 show up.  How this birthday was the best birthday I have truly ever had.
Yes, I really got a toilet as my present for my birthday.  It's for our basement!
It was a magical night full of my Sunday dinner choice salmon & rice krispies, along with Texas Roadhouse rolls and funeral potatoes mmm...mmm..mmm! Lance even through together a 10 minute slideshow of me (which was a little weird watching with everyone), but it truly made me feel super special.  It showcased the golden days of high school through my 25th year including but not limited to: choir trips, school dances, my trip to Spain, getting baptized, the many friends who have influenced who I am today, my family, graduating from nursing school, meeting and marrying lance, finding out we were pregnant, Bennett's birth, Bennett's first year, and our fun vacations.  It made me realize that I really have accomplished a lot in the last 25 years and while if you would have asked me where I would be in life 10 years from now when I was 15 I wouldn't have said working as a nurse, married, in a house of our own with our second kid a week away from being born, but WOW that is quite a life's accomplishment, at least to me. So thank you thank you thank you to those who were a part of my special 25th birthday and thanks for making me feel so loved.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Counting down: 6 weeks

6 weeks. 
It is officially November and I can officially say that I will be a mother of two next month.
::I just blew my mind::
I can definitely say the last couple of weeks I have shed more tears than in the past few months.  
My baby is growing up and learning new things every day such as:
   how to decipher between small and large balls and place them through his ball pit holes
   waving bye
   taking any toy car and "vroom vroom-ing" around the house with it
   Mom leaving for work in the morning means a total melt down of tears for 20 minutes.

I have had numerous moments where I have stopped and thought, the end is nearing where I can just sit here and enjoy this little boy with 100% of my attention.  I wish time would just pause.  but at the same time I am anxious to be done feeling like an elephant, peeing constantly, and always feeling hot. 

Over the last few weeks I have cherished the routines Bennett and I have in place.  Each and every night since he was born he has had the same routine of bath, bottle, bed.  At 11 months old Bennett decided the bottle was for babies and I have now replaced our routine.  Dinner, Play, Bath, Lion King and a bedtime snack followed by reading in the children's Book of Mormon stories, teeth brushing, and a short prayer before placing Bennett in his crib.  From the bath to bed it is sacred mommy and Bennett time.  Time where I am able to enjoy his laugh, his smile, and time to unwind from a busy day.  

I am so so so grateful that he is my little angel boy.  That I have been so privileged to call him my son.  To have the opportunity to see him grow and change and mature.  I know we have many more years to look forward to and new traditions and routines to create.  I am grateful and yet slightly petrified that in just 6 weeks time our worlds will be turned and this sweet girl will be here.  

Here's to making the best of the next 6 weeks of being pregnant.  Here's to enjoying my last month with just Bennett boy. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Birthday: One

It is crazy to me to think that this day one year ago I was entering the hospital in labor and by lunch had a baby in my arms.  The past year has been a whirl wind.  I have learned a lot about patience, prioritization, and learning to be okay if I don't get things checked off my list due to a needy child.  I remember the first few weeks of bringing Bennett home and being totally at a loss as to how I was ever going to function again as an individual and not just a baby feeder.  By two months of age I finally felt like I was getting a hang of things.  Bennett was sleeping through the night.  Lance and I took turns feeding her (dreamy) and if we had another kid sooner than later I would be okay with it.  Then teething happened and Bennett's desire to only fall asleep in our arms and my world was turned upside down again (funny time to find out I was pregnant again).  How excited I was for Bennett to start moving and interacting with us, then around 6 months it happened and the busy child I thought I had became even busier.  Baby proofing became our first priority.  Around 10 months crying it out became our go-to and we got him back on track.  At 11 months he kicked is bottle to the curb... no more formula hallelujah!! 

For Bennett's birthday we celebrated BIG... twice!  We had a gathering of friends and family come over to our home on Saturday for a potato bar ninja turtle party.  We spent about 10 minutes and went through numerous ideas to try and get his candle lit.  Just as Lance got it lit with the BBQ I rushed to get Bennett's birthday hat on and stick him in the high chair. My quickness however got the string of the hat to snap in his face which resulted in him crying and having the saddest smash cake ever!  Mom Fail. 
Kelsey made the most awesome cakes for Bennett's two birthday celebrations.  


 In Korean culture the first birthday is a BIG DEAL.  History behind it I believe is that before modern medicine it was a celebration for a child to live until their first birthday because it meant that child would live and grow old.  Part of the first birthday celebration is to wear Korean outfit that a Korean prince would wear.   Another part of the birthday is to choose an object that represents your life's fortune.

 A string represents a long life (that's what I chose),  a ball means he will be athletic,  a pen represents intelligence or will be gifted in school, money represents wealth, and cake represents that food will always be available, he will never go hungry. 
 Here is what Bennett picked... in order....
1. Pen!!! Oh my smart smart boy.   2.  Cake- he does LOVE food! I'll never let him go hungry.
3. Money   4.String
5... well.... sorry Lance, but athletics isn't in the cards for Bennett. 

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Wheeler Farm

My dear sweet friend Laura offered to take family pictures for us.  She is one talented lady who despite Bennett's disinterest got us some of the CUTEST pictures ever.  Thanks Laura and this is my official recommendation to let her take your family pictures.

October 17th, 2014.
30.6 weeks pregnant. 
Bennett's 4 days shy of being 1 year.
Pregnancy update in few words.
Measuring on.
Charlie Horses Galore.
Braxton Hicks.
Short Scrub Tops.
Hourly Peeing.
Decrease in Headaches.
Pica- Loving Ice.
Kicks Kicks Kicks.
Can't wait to meet you in 8 weeks!